Cross-Eyed Slut

A highly skilled group of musical mercenaries conceived in the heart of Salt Lake City, UT. Known for rocking live shows so hard that it scared club owners into turning away future shows because the crowds were uncontrollable — women dancing on table tops, men thrashing their heads against the stage floor, bands refusing to take the stage after due to complete rock shock. It was rumored that at one particular Halloween show the crowd was so loud that the National Guard was ordered on standby because of all the 911 call-ins by surrounding business owners thinking an angry mob was taking over the city streets. The band was actually accused of causing fans to sexually climax during performances among some having loss of other bodily functions. Eventually the band went into hiatus and agreed to go into a protective relocation program ordered by city and state officials. The specific reason is unclear but rumors maintain it’s because they were making all the other local musicians look bad.