Buff Winnie And The Christian Templars

A history of the band (for archival purposes). (This band is, for the most part, fictional. Any resemblance to real life persons and/or events is purely coincidental and should not be regarded is purposeful or intentional in anyway.) Who are Buff Winnie and the Christian Templars? Well, Dimitri was born in a small village south of Zagreb in 1972. When he was a young boy his father moved to mostar for work where he was spent most of his childhood, in 1990 when he was 18 he moved to Sarajevo to study at the university of Sarajevo with his older brother, Ivan. Soon the Yugoslav wars started and Dmitri's college was bombed. He took to the streets with the only thing he had left, his guitar and began to play for money on the streets. Until he met Avre Arvison at a cafe and was immediately hired to play guitar for his band, the christian Templars. Dmitri became the singer for the band shortly after and was the front man of the christian templars until we met buff Winnie while playing a concert at the Sarajevo zoo The story behind Anon of Buff Winnie and the Christian Templars: Anon was born in the heart of Bosnia in a small village of which the name was lost to time. She grew up on that town, and there she spent her grueling days working in Slavic labor camps for little to no money at all. She went to High School with her buddies Jomes and Arvis which she met in the labor camps, and after finding themselves breaking into a secret lab near their high school, they befriended a giant genetically modified bear. After graduating high school, they moved to the city of serajavo and during their college years they experimented around and founded the band the Christian Templars joined by frontman Dimitri Ivanov. They never made enough material for an album under the name Christian Templars while Dimitri was alive. After his death, they called their high school friend buff Winnie back to replace their old front man, and the story is well known from there. After forming the band of 'Buff Winnie', the band immediately began work on an album. The band was driven by a deep force inside if them to avenge the untimely death of their beloved friend, Dimitri. Over the course of a year, they recorded the album. They finally finished mixing the album in summer of 1997, and released the album, with the help of their publishing company nicknamed 'God'. The album was met with literally instantaneous success, selling over 3 trillion records worldwide. Every person and their dog quite literally owned the album, and it was officially rated as the greatest album to ever been released. The 4 members, most specifically Buff Winnie himself became the richest and most well known men (and as found out later, a woman) in the world. Consequently, in 2001 due to the lack of a follow up album, WW3 was started after the entire world declared war on Bosnia and Croatia to try and force BWCT to make a follow up album. During the war, Arvis conquered the entirety of the Balkans, but due to legal issues with Disney, the band was forced to change their name to Buff Winnie, not Buff Whinnie. After 3 years of brutal war, killing 2 billion people, Buff Winnie agreed to be interviewed again by BTV and recorded a live album called Live in Zagreb, immediately ending World War 3. After rigorous email spamming, Buff Winnie and the Christian Templars agreed to make an album sponsored by Starkist Tuna called Tuna Time. The album released in 2007, kicking their debut album off the billboard top 100. The album wasn't sold as much as their debut album, but once again gained instant success just as they did before. After Tuna Time, the band was swamped with sin. Hookers, drugs, dirty dealings, and plenty of illegal activities plagued each and every member. And eventually in late 2010, member Anon died of a Crystal Marijuana overdose. After 6 years of her absence in the band, Arvis took her place and created the majority of the music behind their next album Mister Roger's Ghetto. But halfway through production, Anon was resurrected in a robotic body and brought back into the band. She subsequently wrote a song detailing an experience she had in 2005 after being locked up in a South American prison for a while. In mid-to-late 2016, Anon discovered she was actually transgender and began transitioning into the woman we know her as today. After getting addicted to drugs once again due to severe dysphoria and other reasons, once Anon regained her body, she found herself lacking contribution to the band. Which can be seen as evident in their next albums "God Hates Serbia" and "Pazi Snajper" The album God Hates Serbia details the aftermath of Buff Winnie and the Christian Templars after Buff Winnie went on a murderous rampage and killed Anon and Arvis. He was then killed by Jomes with a shotgun after he discovered Buff Winnie murdered Anon and Arvis. The band was resurrected after they discovered god was Bosnian, and they immediately produced Pazi Snajper, led by Arvis. After that, the album Trouble In Paradise was conceived, but before any tracks except a solo Anon effort could be made, Buff Winnie was shot and killed by the very same Serbs who killed Dimitri. A bonus track "All Star" was recorded to along with the box set "No Underwear" which included 2 hours of every track produced by the band, + the lost tape of the BTV Buff Winnie interviews in 1997, 2004 and 2006. After the box set released, a new effort arose from the ashes of the band spearheaded by the member Anon. At first, this new album was conceived by Arvis, but was subsequently taken over by Anon. Only two tracks on this new album called "Freedom Fighters" would be produced by Arvis, and two tracks from Jomes. All the rest were made entirely by Anon as she reflected deeply on her past in the Siege of Serajevo and WW3. The album was finished in a very short form in early 2018, but was subsequently resurrected in a full length feature album in 2019, marking the final album in Buff Winnie's catalogue as band member Arvis would join the serbs and be killed in a suicide bombing never to be seen from again. But, what's this? Arvis may not have actually died, because months later 3 tracks part of an album called "Narcotics" were released on SoundCloud, unbeknownst to Anon who would discover them days later. She would then comment on such tracks detailing Arvis is not the real Buff Winnie, beginning the new chapter of BWCT... The Great Schism. *More to come as it develops.*